# TEARS #

I can't control myself.it was very tense that moment...what miss wong say is true..and there's no use to regret.thanks jing wen,faezah..for ur concern..i guess i'm being too emotional.

# SHE'S MENTIONING EVERY SINGLE THING THAT I SAID IN MY PREVIOUS POST! #

Miss cheah actually mention every single thing that i've said in my previous post...huh.do we have same mind?she's actually frightening me..she emphasis again that we need to do revision in preparation for our Os...i didn't take too much of consideration but the thing is i'm worried about my future..its not the matter of good grades..it is what i want to be!!!.you understand..?Previously i do have difficulties in coping with my school work..but know i'm moving on to a better pace...its a big deal to me on what i really want in life!!..i'm not sure..i'm so confused...i'm being to ambitious and career-minded..whether i want to be someone who got something to do with media..or being a teacher..bussinesswomen,writer,newsreader bla bla..and you know what..if can i want to be all of those.tHAT'S CRAZY.so how am i going to settle this..i'm not concern about anything else [except english].whether i get A1,A2,B3,B4,C5,C6.it dosent matter!!!!plz..can someone give me suggestions..haiz...better ask mum.miss cheah is frightening me..

can't log in blogger again..for this few months or so..can't
wait for mum to buy me ladtop..my personal one..arghh.
shut that com.

# MISERABLE #

Now,it came to my attention that i have to make a decision.Whether its going to affect me or not.but is it possible or isn't?.i'm feeling miserable...Why at this point[THIS MOMENT]of time..she seeking for my concern.Yes i do concern about her.Seriously..i wanted so badly to see improvemnet in her.It dosen't matter what subject ..math,eng,combined science..though you can't expect it to happen without sacrificial.she's one of my closest friend.YOu know who.[seven years of friendship]not likely that we'll be separated apart..never.At some point i do feel that ya ryte..why can't i just ignore her..that's make my life easy..my most happiest scene would most probably to see her successful & believe me....i would be more glad to see my friends acheivement rather than myself.i simply can't understand myself..should i neglect them..plz..& another girl she's troubling me.You know who u are..i'm not angry with her but i want to say..plz..this is not the moment for you to enjoy life..which one is much more important?i'm willing to do anything for her.But if she can't appreciate what i've done,that's fine with me.I won't tolerate such person.Its your future and whatever it is,it will determine where you will go.[no use of crying over spilled milk].Her attitude dosen't make me craze..how i wish that she can make better judgement in life.its ok..like i say..do whatever you want.i'm sure she wouldn't like people to give her advice because it seems to her that it is some kind of nagging.[and she'll get frust]fine.fine.Anyhow u may wish to seek me when u realised everything is coming to an end...& u know one thing i could do is to say sorry because i can't help you..but i'll give u the encouragement and support ,yet that still would not be enough.


why is it hard for him to confess
i know his heart,& he keep denying
i wish to tell him
how much i miss him

# DON'T FEEL LIKE WRITING #

just a pic of the past...lol.. haiz...tired..

# ERMMM #

I've just met del just now..& i want to say that i really miss him so much!!..miss him always..Its his birthday & he's celebrating it with his friends at town[craze].I'll alwz love him & forever love him as a friend...he's a kind,sincere & honest person.May god bless him with a decent life.


I wemt for night study,but i didn't seems to have the urge to ask questions.Studying at home is more preferred.I have a clear mind & there is no much of a distractions.I can study in bed,my study table or computer table..that's more of a comfort to me.I just love my room.Guess i'm not going for night study anymore..i can't focus to much.

Tomorrow ashraf can teach me chemistry!!.he's good.At least there's someone who can teach me other than "MRS WHELAN" XD.[last list of teacher whom i didn't adore]ermm..still can ask eng hin hor..haha.He's too smart..but anyway i didn't really relate with him.I bet that he will be the top O LEVEL student next year & WRS building will collasped beacuse 5N1 is going to cheer for him!!!
haha.[A history again].I know he can make it...wish him all the best.
yeah..i'm so happy ,can't wait to clear my doubts...[all QNS in PYS CHEMISTRY]

AITE TILL here...zzzzz i want to lay in bed ,listening to the radio beside me & revise my goeg notes....zzzz..then go sleep.[I love music!!]

# 40 degree #

Ouh,i've just recovered from high fever.Yesterday night i caught with flu,asthma,cough.[terrible].You know, i'm sensitive to cold drinks & junk foods..like icecream,chocalate..my throat are not longing for this.If i don't stop consuming this junks..i'll suffered for days...so one way to prevent it is to drink lotz of warm water.I don't mind.Mineral water is essential for your health!!.Hey,that's gumptions.[ouh fana i check it first,u noe what i mean hehe].Suppposedly today i should go to the library to teach shiqin.It seems that i want to control everyone!!!at the same time i'd also promise to teach faezah A math.ermmm.What am i trying to do?i guess i wanna be a teacher..?ermm.argh nvm.So,as i was having a fever..i can't make it...but i try to make up another day.[feeling miserable]but i didn't do it in purpose huh.aite2.

I'm not sure what i did for geog will benefit me.I still remember.."she" told me[sorry,didn't quite rmbr her name],we're using 1% of our brain & 99% of it is wasted.yes..itz true.The first & the last lesson ever with her is really to a big advantage.farhana!!! i can still rmbr that meaning.."SPINDRIFT".[only fana knows what i'm talking about].School life is a road learning...infact there's so many ways that we can adapt to in order to make learning more interesting..nvm.let's be it...


I'm still wondering why dad had bought the shoe.its 'DEMOCRATA'!!
[DEMOCRATA!!]any saleperson in BATA are wooing to sell.If you get to sell one pair of that shoe...ur mood will be happy,because u get the $1-$1.50 comission.[I know its a pathetic one]but huh its a big deal to us!!!..& also to the manager.Uncle especially.[manager].And mum had said to coreen that i'm his daughter...so embarassed man...& coreen ask mum why she hadn't seen me for long time..& mum said i've been busy preparing for Os[right,at least mum say the true]but on the actual fact i do not want to drop by at BATA.sure uncle will ask me fiqah,fiqah...ur're working again at BATA?& we'll going to fuck off each other.haha.i'm quite close to him.You know,uncle like to scold badwords...we're like friends..& sometimes i'll beat him up.You can see from his facial expression that his a fierce man..haha.but u won't know the real of him.His wife,coreen,alwz like to tease him..she said uncle is a big fat pig..& our staff will laugh like hell.i miss those memories though.I'm not sure bout working again.Its only for experience.aite.get back to the point,coreen gave dad a $5 discount!!& that democrata???euuu..why can't dad spent on other things.shoes?.i'm sick and tired of it.

One reason why i'm so discouraged to do the job because its bulky..i mean when we have to shift in the stocks..in the store there is about thosands of shoe!![THOUSANDS]i can't figure it out on where to slot in all the boxes.You also need to rmbr every single one of it.bubbblegumers,weinbreiner,marieclaire,comfort,...+ i'm afraid of heights..its damn tall..actually guys should do tiz kind of work...in few days..i get to do the job well..but its tough.THAT'Z WHY.aiyo...dunnoe leh...i miss uncle & coreen so much we're like one big family.There's tiz one day when we have to stay overnight to packed the stock..if you can rmbr during the december holiday[u can see BATA shop is full of boxes].WE went back about 2am..& uncle gave me money to take the cab...kind of him isn't it?then uncle send fida,jeremy home...coz thier house is further than woodlands..what a fond memories....

# MT "O" LEVEL RESULTS #

Haiz..5 distinciton from sec 5..that's bad huh.I mean i was expecting more to get distiction.Not quite happy particularly many of my friends like wani ,nisa,syazana,faezah,ila,azimah & the guys they have to make the option as to whether they want to retake or not.haiz..why can't all of them pass with flying colours..i feel sad for them .as a close friend to nisa & fiza...i have the sense of guilt.i should have help them with Mt,but in the first place i thought they were good in Mt .no doubt.huh.Now they have to work even more harder.Actually there's no way that i can help them for malay.It is a LANGUAGE.[similar to ENGLISH].You need to read more newspaper and storey books.ermmm..why i can't do the same for my english..u noe i've always read malay newspaper without fail..it is just a habit...ermm..and watching the news on TV.But maybe e main reason why i'm gud in Mt,coz i am a very poetic girl..i wrote poems mostly about love...& nature..it do help in ur vocab.& also writing lyrics..haiz.. my English WAS 10x much more worst than malay.You know..fana said if only this result is meant for english..huh.[I'LL FAINT].iMPOSSIBLE.haiz...can't say anything...i'm too desperate to see them happy.happy with their result.it dosen't seems to end up like i thought.As a friend all i could do is to give them a moral support..this is not the end..there's a second chance.& they can prove that they can do potentially well.Not forgetting the chinese student....they must be terribly upset...i guess its tough.how i wish the time passes with smiles in their faces.Sometime i think life is so unfair...really.


I went back at 4..my whole conversation turn out to be disastrous..i jumped into politics and govenrment.Anyhow,i kinda like about politics...[interesting]Maybe i can't figure it out in english..but yes..for malay.arghh.[ALWZ MALAY]IQA.

When i see freak..i feel sympathy for him..he's really good in other subjects but not malay..so how is he right now??huh.He told me that his parent are sure to get frustrated.hope things turn out well.

congratulations to farhana!!.My beloved friend..hey..she improve by 3 grade!!can u believe that..wah...lately she alwz get the same mark as me..who knows perhaps she might be the top O level student next year..[Second "FARHANA"]haha.hey i'm serious...nothing is impossible right?she's a bright student..i'll be happy for you farhana.I believe everyone have the potential to be one.Its the hard work,peseverance&determination that counts.aite till here.best wishes to everyone....& congratulations to my cuz,hayu,suhaili.ex-fren fatin,safirah,rai...&+++..u noe how happy i am to get in contact with them again!!

# TIRED #

Ermm.The natiOnal day celebration is so boring..i mean the performance.I might as well dozed off in bed till 11am then wake up and do my revision for chem and phsics..but hey..its NATIONAL DAY!!.i'm singaporean..brrrr...=D.OK LAR..about the T-shirt design..quite enjoy the song that is sang by "mR chong!"haha.psstt..hey people don't know i could sing.haha..nevermind.i'll sing to my [future husband]..only the choir members knows my voice.haha.crap off.i miss singing!!.
Actually i & fana wanted to go out..but we have no idea where to go.haiz..anyhow i'm tired..i need some rest to study tonight.
two days of holiday is for revision..just bare with it..haiz..time is running fast..seems impossible for me to complete all my new ten-years series revision..chEm,physics,math,eng.
OUUH yar..this friday is the MT o level result..erm.plz...i wish i didn't get an A2.I didn't do well for my compo.huh.wait wait wait.

I love to eat pitza!!mum will bring us to pizza hut tomorrow.hopefully.she promise me & my sis.all italian food.sphagetti,lasagne..yummie..=Dbut stLL i prefer mum's cooking..chicken blackpepper,tandori chicken,chicken rice,& all the chicken chicken///.hahax.i also love turkey food,like roti nan,kebabs..huh..ambrosia &luscious!TMR IS PIZZA HUT DAY.aite till here.HAPPY B'DAE SINGAPORE!!!!!41th independence.what the hell i'm shouting here...argh but no celebration for me.[revison revison & lotz or revision]X(

# I'M BACK #

I'M just back..haiz...tiring.A day out with fana,shiqin & siti.It has been so long that i didn't attend some sort like a motivational talk for ladies..very interesting..The ustazah is humorous..& it ended with seeking forgiveness.I feel like staying out at night..it's peaceful...walking along the pavements...no vehicles..no crowds..no one ...a time for meditation.Unconcious mind may lead to mishap & unoccasinally something that you did not want to encounter.Life is miserable..almost torturing like heaven.do you agree?.one of the topic that ustazah raja zubaidah emphasis..."Do not stop gaining knowledge till death.[A large extent of agreement]In this world i'm seeking to learn..be someone that could lead the world..withstand the sinking world..[in my religious term]i assmue all muslim should agree.Even i am gradually losing out to the vast improvements.One day,each and everyone of us will witness the unproportionate males and females.The females will outnumbered the males.Its going to be significant.Trust me.tHERE's alot to mention but i guess only muslim can understand it.Humans are born & that is why they are meant for death.Nothing is exceptional.We live for a reason.How the universe,earth,stars,moon,sun exist,offcourse man don't create it.Many will say that is "NATURE".Yes.And what do you understand about nature?[Think about it].In this world..we must learn to appreciate...the people around us...[everything].& you must deeply believe the existence of "ALLAH".

[its already in the morning...]
i've clear my doubts about e math..
guess there's alot more to asked...
friday and saturday.
bare with it.

i regret that i refused having tuition for my english...because i think it won't help..actually mum want me to have an extra class for math and english.Math was not much of a problem.I think i have the potential to work things out on my own..I remember during my primary school days..i always get grade 3 for math..which means a C6,& my PSLE grade was C.Right now...i seems to have no problem..a miracle indeed.& I love math!.Back to the point..about my english..i read dictionary ..& do lotz of grammer pratice.[like for physics,chem,geog] i help myself with reading encylopedias'..a lot of information!very interesting..anything that you want to know..radiation,speed of reaction...pollution...i'm so indulge with the book.index A-Z.huh.I LURVE IT.You didn't have to refer to your texbook[low content]

haiz....so sleepy but yet could not shut this eyes
there's no other place like home..
queen size bed,air con,pink quilt & five pillows..
+ indulging myself with icecream=bread!
zzzzzzzzzzzzz...i want to sleep!

# WHAT PHAT ? #

HeY fana,he's one of the most friendly guy i've ever met..i talk with him like we're so close...he's talkative just like me.wahahaha..[best seh ckp ngan die..mcm tak leh stop gitu.]AITE.hEY ASHRUL!!!..HE'S a sweet guy...hahaha.hey fana?where did you find that guy.sesat eh kat singapore?kesian....i'm waiting for him to come to singapore..wouldn't that be fun!wow..i lurve it..he's not demure at all.Honestly i think he's crazy.Why should call him papa?abang?takder name lain ke..issh budak ni...
sorry for the malay esscense.ouh i'm undercontrol of this malaysian guy.[he's crazy]

# PHEWW #

guess this is my most happiest day!![i can log in my blog]that's a bit lame.Anyhow,there's something wrong with my com.I want to talk about her,want to talk about him,about her,about him,,her,him,her!I mean jemima,wani,illah,faezah,nisa,fana,hui-yuan.[Let's not talk about him because its a bit personal]

Hui-yuan.
ermm..What shall i say about her?.ok.Now i seems to get the point why people can't mix around with her.Its not bcoz she has an attitude...or maliciuos..her personality dosen't suits at all.can you imagine yourself without company...?clique?.haiz...what does she want in life?.i'm trying my best to be close with her..but i can't.She just don't relate well with me.She's too quiet,dignified,serious & calm.-a sedate].Anyhow ,i'm glad that she's willing to express all her feelings to me.How sad it is.There's this one time i say to her...,i said..that she really need to change herself..be friendly ...communicate with them even if you feel awkward.I know its hard...but u need to sacrifice to gain the trust of others,make them realise that you're not bad afterall...thier way of thinking..the mentality & mindset.get it right!.huh.She care less about it.i don't know what else i could do..to make it clear

Faezah
she's in deep pressure..[can't cope with A math]i'm not sure whether i had made the right decision..its a big responsibility..i've promised her...if she is concern for her A math..i am more willing to help her..no matter how hard it is..you're my friend fiza...you're acheivement is my happiness..now that i'm worried about is,to manage my time....i need to do more revision& get the basic right..[there's an ebb in my A math..i'm relatively undergraded]fana,nisa care for you...[if u read this].plz don't think negative fiza...

about the others that i've mention...nvm..keep it to myself..too tired to type out.
del del del//